If you are in a relationship that has problems and you have recognized that changes are necessary you may have also recognized that you are the only one dealing with it.  The indicators of this are typically a lack of comment on the part of your partner that they, too, are frustrated by the state of affairs.   Your obvious first question then is simply this – can one person correct a relationship on his or her own?  Is it possible for one party to fix a duet?

While, yes, it is possible to initiate change it is necessary for you to accept the limitations of such an initiative.   It is true that one person can initiate the changes that are necessary and start the process rolling.   However, it is extremely rare for that one party to effect the necessary changes in their relationship without the eventual enjoinment of the other party.  If you accept this fact and you are willing to accept its limitations, the proceed.   This by itself may enable you to get your ex back.

Oftentimes people find that if one person attempts to initiate change it can often produce dramatically good results.   Sometime what couples find in this one-sided initiative is that both parties were feeling the same but neither had initiated change.   So, clearly there are built-in benefits or the strong possibility of them in even trying.  Again, this can be a godsend it you are trying to get ex back.

Initiating change means that you must first inventory your relationship and determine exactly where the two of you are.   This process, in and of itself, is a challenge for many people.  Quite often the parties in a relationship have dramatically variant opinions of where the relationship actually stands.    This recognition is itself a breakthrough and often occurs.  Therapists consider an open definition of varying opinion of the status of a relationship is itself valuable.

Working on your relationship by yourself will often mean working on yourself.  While you cannot change the other party, you can change yourself.   What this means is that we can begin by taking stock of our part in the relationship and addressing – at least – those things that are or have been mentioned before by our partner.  Engineering changes in your side of a relationship will often engage the other party.

These are the kinds of techniques that can be of extreme value if you are attempting to salvage a highly damaged relationship or if you are trying to get your ex back.